The Hidden Masterpiece: How the Right People Help Us Grow
Like a sculptor with stone, the right relationships - personal and professional, shape us into who we are meant to be.
In one of my coaching sessions, my coachee shared a challenge - "I struggle to speak up in meetings. I have ideas, but I hold back. What if they don’t make sense? But then someone almost always shares the same idea and is appreciated"
I asked, “What happens to you when someone else shares a similar idea?”
She sighed, “I feel regret.. I feel like I should have spoken up. But I don't know what happens to me then......"
By the end of that conversation, she created a plan that she felt was less overwhelming. One small step at a time.
I got a ping from her earlier this week ... "I did it! I spoke up. It was amazing to share my idea and when everyone started discussing it, appreciated me for pointing it out. I feel awesome!"
“See? It was always in you.” I simply pinged back.
This is the Michelangelo Effect
It’s not about changing someone; it’s about removing the doubt and hesitation that hide their potential. That's my job and I love it! 🥰
"Every block of stone has a statue inside it, and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." ~ Michelangelo
The Michelangelo Effect is a psychological concept rooted in the idea that just as Michelangelo sculpted masterpieces by chipping away excess stone, the right people in our lives help shape us into our best selves.
Coined by psychologists Stephen Michael Drigotas and colleagues, the effect explains that when someone sees our potential and actively supports us in reaching it, we are more likely to grow into the person we wish to become.
This doesn’t just apply to personal relationships, it’s also what great leaders do. A leader who creates an environment where people feel valued and encouraged isn’t just managing a team; they are helping shape individuals into their best versions.
So… whether it’s a leader nurturing strengths, a coach helping uncover hidden potential, a mentor guiding someone toward success, or a friend believing in your dreams - each of them plays the role of a sculptor, revealing the masterpiece within us.
But here’s the thing—just like a block of marble doesn’t sculpt itself, we don’t grow alone. We evolve through the people who see our potential, challenge our limits, and help us move past doubts and fears. The right sculptors don’t just tell us what we can be; they help us see it for ourselves.
Where can we find the right sculptors?
Well.. we can find our sculptor in ---
our Leaders and Mentors who inspire and challenge us to grow.
our Coach who helps us see what’s possible and supports us in removing the barriers we place on ourselves.
our friend who believes in us reminds us of our strengths, and pushes us forward when we hesitate.
the books, podcasts, and learning spaces – that help shift our thinking patterns, and perspectives and open new paths.
We can also find our sculptors in unexpected places as well... a conversation, a chance encounter, or even a challenge can introduce us to someone who helps us see ourselves differently.
Having said that an important point here also is -
How Can We Become the Right Sculptors?
While we seek people to shape us, we also have the power to shape others. Just as someone helped us grow, we can be the sculptor in someone else’s journey.
Here are some ideas -
Recognise potential in others – Sometimes, all someone needs is for us to say, “I see this in you.” or "You can do it"
Encourage without overpowering – Instead of giving all the answers, guide them to discover their own. In short, be a coach 😊
Create an environment for growth – Whether as a leader, coach, or friend, foster a space where people feel safe to learn and take risks.
Challenge with compassion – Growth happens when we push past our limits, but the best sculptors push with care.
Celebrate progress – Acknowledge every small step, because growth is a process, not a destination.
Ready to dig deeper? Check out these resources...
Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter - Liz Wiseman
(How great leaders bring out the best in others)
The Puzzle of Motivation - Daniel Pink
(Understanding intrinsic motivation)
The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen - David Brooks
(A powerful talk on guiding transformation)
To conclude, do believe that we are both the sculptor and the sculpture at different times.
The question I want you to reflect on is - who is shaping me, and who am I helping to shape? 😊
Would love to hear back from you!
Love & peace
Aparna